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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

"Are you my Husband? Are you my husband" (Girls, you will get this title)

Sometimes I feel like Toula from My Big Fat Greek Wedding. You know the opening scene when her father says in his thick, Greek accent, "You look so old! You need to get married!" Yeah, that scene is a chapter out of my life. I have bets with my dad each holiday which of my family memold womanbers will ask me the dreaded question first. "So, are you dating anyone?"

In college it was kind of cute. Now, it is an annoying reminder that people just don't get me. It is like I am choosing to be "weird" and not marry out of spite or something. Like my dating life is in my control! (I guess if I was "in the world" it might very well be.)

This past week at Glorieta we had an amazing woman named Melody come speak to the girls. She was hi-larous and very much the kind of woman I want to be someday. She too was "single" and has to desire to be married. (By the way, she also said to be truly "single," you need to be at least 25. Check!)

She said something that was somewhat discouraging for us singletons who want to be married, but very true. She said in former years a speaker would probably say to a group like us, "You know MOST of you will be married someday" or "Marriage is what God has in store for MOST of you." Now, however, she doesn't think that is true. Instead, she amended the statement to something like, "MANY of you will be married, and MANY of you will not."

Ouch. It is probably 100% true, and the truth hurts. She also spoke of contentment....and that many times we try to kill any desire to marry so we can say we are "content." Instead of KILLING hope or the desire to be married, she said we have to learn to grieve it. Grieve the loss if getting married by x age, or grieve the loss of having kids, or grieve the loss whatever it is.

Americans say "I do" more than any other industrialized democracy with 9 new marriages for every 1,000 people. Idaho, where 60% of people over 15 are hitched, has the largest percentage of married couples (not moving there). New York, has the fewest marriages, with 50% of the population still single (hmmm).

Luckily, it is normal to marry a bit later in life. Today, the average bride is 25.1 years old with their groom averaging 26.8. At the age of 102, Minnie Monroe became the oldest bride when she married to Dudley Reid, 82. Hope still is alive.

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