I feel restless.
Constantly, no matter what I am doing, there is a pain in my heart that I can only call restlessness. Nothing really has been able to distract me from this restlessness. Lack of focus is hard for me....I a such a doer by nature. Usually, I love DOING things, being busy, and multi-tasking. Even though these past few days have been so busy, the restlessness gnaws at my insides like a creature trying to get out.
Thomas Edison has been quoted as saying, "Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress." I hope he is right. I hope this restlessness will push me toward something new. I feel stuck in a phase of life and can barely handle it much longer. I need progress. Change. New.
My hope is that restlessness and vague desire doesn't continue too long...."It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid."
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
I'm was a Walker Girl Through and Through.......
Today was the beginning of freshmen move-in. So in honor of all those new freshies, here are some of my favorite things about living in the dorms.
- Writing your name on the beds. (I know, so bad!)
- Having my door open and dozens of friends walking by and stopping in to say hello.
- The blue cordarory couch.
- Coming into my room and people being there, yet none of my roommates among them!
- Making a "tent" in the bottom bunk with my roommates covers.
- Fire alarms. Climbing down 1o flights of stairs at 3:00 am is character building, people!
- Walking to and from football games.
- Looking out my window on cold winter days.
- Hiding in Natalie's bed and scaring her when she got in to go to sleep.
- "Dawson lives.....Dawson dies. Dawson lives....Dawson dies."
- Having 321-LOVE as a phone number.
- Cooking Saturday morning "breakfast" in the microwave with eggs, bacon bits, and cheese.
- IMing someone a floor below you.
- The smell of the boys side of the hall. Yuck.
- Praying for a parking space.....and getting it!
- Being pulled over by a bike cop outside of Adams.
- Pranks.
- Staying up way too late doing nothing but laughing a whole lot!
- Tornadoes.....and living on a floor meant to blow off if one hits!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Girls Explained? Kind of....
I read an interesting article today about the female brain. Here is the article by Laura Schaefer. (I didn't write this, just copying the story.) It makes me feel better to know there are reasons for the mad things girls do. They are all true, but personally the second point sticks out as really, really true to me. Now if there was just a manual to explain men......
For the full story as I read it, go here.
Wouldn't it be a relief to finally understand what is happening behind her pretty eyes? Why is it, for example, that the woman in your life is serene one moment, apocalyptic the next? How can she remember details about your life you don't even recall? And what's with her taking everything so personally? Chalk it up to female brain chemistry. Here's how to tailor your courtship to her cortex, hippocampus, etc.
Pay attention to the little things
She'll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, "I'd rather watch the game" might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she'll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.
To keep up with her memory, take notes
It's a scientific fact: Women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it's where memories are formed. So while you remember, maybe, the day you met, she's recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There's a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented: Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippocampus.
Follow her calm lead versus instigating bar fights
She's much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. "The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator' of amygdala action," explains researcher Ruben Gur. "So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling ‘Kill the guy!' The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.'" Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.
Write her a poem or at least a cute email
"Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues," says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women's brains are wired to be more language-centric than men's. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn't hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She'll know just what to say.
Be her serotonin
Women's brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: Try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.
For the full story as I read it, go here.
Pay attention to the little things
She'll see shades of meaning in small gestures, because significant regions of the cortex — the outer layer of a brain that conducts much of its high-level computing — are thicker in the ladies. Therefore, an off-hand comment like, "I'd rather watch the game" might say more than you meant it to. Likewise, a small act of kindness (from a kiss on the cheek to simply calling ahead to make reservations) will blow her away because she'll consider both the gesture and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.
To keep up with her memory, take notes
It's a scientific fact: Women remember everything. The hippocampus takes up a larger percent of the female brain than the male brain, which is good to know because it's where memories are formed. So while you remember, maybe, the day you met, she's recorded your first flirtation, first phone call, first date, first kiss, etc. Bottom line? There's a reason the PDA and the Google calendar were invented: Use these electronic tools to keep up with her mighty hippocampus.
Follow her calm lead versus instigating bar fights
She's much better at reining in her aggressive impulses than you are. Doctors at the University of Pennsylvania measured the size of the orbitofrontal cortex, an area of the brain involved in regulating emotions. They then compared it with the size of the amygdala, which creates emotional reactions to events. They discovered that female brains have a much larger orbitofrontal-to-amygdala ratio (OAR) than male brains do. That suggests women are better than guys at responding calmly to rudeness or aggression. "The orbitofrontal cortex (OFC) is the main ‘modulator' of amygdala action," explains researcher Ruben Gur. "So if you are at a party and someone insults you, the amygdala, which is a very primitive and old structure in human brains, will be yelling ‘Kill the guy!' The OFC is the part of the brain that will say: ‘Consider the context; there are people around.'" Thus, if you want to impress her, quiet your own amygdala and behave as gracefully as she does.
Write her a poem or at least a cute email
"Women excel in something called verbal fluency, or being able to come up with appropriate words, given cues," says Dr. Larry Cahill of the University of California at Irvine. In general, women's brains are wired to be more language-centric than men's. Researchers at McMaster University found that female brains have a greater density of neurons in parts of the temporal lobe cortex, which is the area of the brain associated with language processing and comprehension. This could help explain why women often know the right thing to say, send great cards and love notes, and choose words with such care. In wooing a love interest, it wouldn't hurt to get the help of a trusted female friend. She'll know just what to say.
Be her serotonin
Women's brains produce significantly less serotonin — the brain chemical that helps make us happy — than male brains do. So if she has a tough day at work, treat to her to a transfusion: Try a pep talk, soothing back rub or long hug.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Harry Potter Quote
It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world. ~J.K. Rowling, "Horcruxes," Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 2005
Monday, August 4, 2008
I feel like an Armadillo
Armadillos are diggers. Lately, I have been digging into my heart and not too fond of what I am finding. Mostly I am finding how little I trust God when my circumstances are bleak.
Armadillos have poor vision but are not blind. Thankfully, I am not blind, but at times it seems like I am. I can't always see what God is doing with my life, and I let it discourage me. This goes with number one--lack of trust/faith when I can't "see."
Armadillos have a hard "armor" shell for protection but the underside of the animal is never armored, and is simply covered with soft skin. I think this is the main way I feel like an armadillo lately. I have wanted to roll myself up in a ball of armor to protect myself from any more disappointment and hurt. Opening up and showing that "soft side" is scary for me. I feel like people are tired of hearing about the sadness I feel so much of the time. So I keep it to myself. Being around people and being "normal" is not something I am doing very well right now.
So, yeah. There are more similarities but I think I've stretched the analogy as far as I should. I figure I can be honest here. If you want to read it, you will. If you don't, you won't.
Armadillos have poor vision but are not blind. Thankfully, I am not blind, but at times it seems like I am. I can't always see what God is doing with my life, and I let it discourage me. This goes with number one--lack of trust/faith when I can't "see."
Armadillos have a hard "armor" shell for protection but the underside of the animal is never armored, and is simply covered with soft skin. I think this is the main way I feel like an armadillo lately. I have wanted to roll myself up in a ball of armor to protect myself from any more disappointment and hurt. Opening up and showing that "soft side" is scary for me. I feel like people are tired of hearing about the sadness I feel so much of the time. So I keep it to myself. Being around people and being "normal" is not something I am doing very well right now.
So, yeah. There are more similarities but I think I've stretched the analogy as far as I should. I figure I can be honest here. If you want to read it, you will. If you don't, you won't.
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