I've never been more homesick than now....

I'm so ready to go home and get away for a while. My last month has been horrible, and if I don't get some down time I will explode. It doesn't help that home can be just a crazy and stressful, but at least I can stop.



Christmas used to be a calming time. All the old carols about "peace on earth and good will toward men" and "silent night" have been replaced with "rockin' around the Christmas tree" and "grandma got run over by a reindeer." Apparently, even reindeer are in a hurry these days.

In our rushed and pushed society, I can see why so many people get the Christmas blues. Instead of forgiveness and the benefit of the doubt, we hold grudges, accuse, and look out for number one. How sad are we--caught up in the here and now? It makes me ashamed of myself, yet I keep giving into the tyranny of the urgent. I am yearning for a calming of the soul.

I’ve been yearning for Jesus to come more and more as I get older. This year, I must admit, I have prayed more than once that He would not terry. There is a song by MercyMe called “Homesick.” If you’ve never heard it, please listen to it. I can hear the strings and the music right now, It calms me.

Part of the chorus explains exactly what I have been feeling: “Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow. I've never been more homesick than now.”

I feel so undeserving of anything good from the Lord. It is hard for me to accept His grace and gifts. It’s humbling because I know there is nothing in me that deserves it at all. But that’s grace--unmerited favor. I realize, I can only display the measure of grace to others that I have experienced myself. Hmm. The way I am feeling, it seems, I need to experience much more of God's grace.

The Pot Pie Question

As you know, www.hollyihaveaquestion.blogspot.com is devoted to the answering of questions posed to me each and every day. Of course, if no one has a question, I get the freedom to write on any topic. But today my wonderful, beautiful roommate's blog, posed a question that hits at the very heart of who I am. I must answer. Let me quote for Amy's question for you:

"Sigh. Holly doesn't like Pot Pie. I think she is morally opposed to it. Let me plunge into the depths of this. Is it just because Holly is such a hard worker and throwing everything together to cook is just a cop out? Is it that nothing has a good texture when smothered in gravy? Texture is quite important to allergy sufferers. Who knows?"

Well, Miss Van Dyck, I know why I do not like pot pie. One-"POT pie" Does that sound good to you--POT pie. Due to my reading audience, I cannot fully disclose what this word makes me think of...but think with me where else we use the word POT in our everyday life. Hmm. Disgusting.



On top of that, is the misuse of the word "pie." Pie makes me think of sweet things.....a warm, sweet, dessert. SO to say "pie" and then it is this mixture of leftover rejects carefully disguised in gravy and crust is just wrong! Some may say IMMORAL. We are to let our "yes" be "yes" and our "no" be "no". When you say there is pie, you should mean real PIE not a runny mixture of brown and green nothingness.



When we add texture (mushiness) and the lack of design and forethought I am close to appalled that this is served to children across American. *Gag*



I am too emotional about this topic. It is too close to me, so I must leave my arguement to that. I hope, dear Amy, this answers your question. Can't we just have enchiladas and all get along?

Long-term Road Trip

God tends to teach me things in themes. This semester I am starting to see He is teaching me about baggage--both my own and others. I don't know one person that doesn't have at least a small bag they they carry with them in life Others are so loaded down that they can barely move.



As I learn how to disciple girls, (and when I say disciple, I mean teach them more than the how to's and the why's, but get into the gunk of their lives), I have seen one thing--baggage will be there...it's what we do with it that matters.



For instance, did you know baggage is easy to hide behind? It keeps you and me safe from others ever knowing the "real us". It keeps us protected from criticism, from rejection, even from having to take those risks that are required for healthy relationships. Of course, with baggage in front of us, it’s awfully difficult to see where we're going. And it’s pretty lonely too…. Isolated, sitting in our little corner of the world, surrounded by our baggage. *Sigh*

The worst part about carrying around all this baggage is that it becomes our identity. We don’t know who we are, only what we carried around. (Abuse. Anger. Depression. Addictions. Resentments. Selfishness. Painful childhood. Shame. Guilt. People pleasing. Defeat. Codependency.)

The trouble with baggage is that when it’s your only identity, you have to do a lot to try to make it as presentable as possible. As long as everything looks pretty on the surface, no one will notice how bad it really is deep inside. Hmm.



No one....except God. He notices. He knows what’s behind the cover-up.

David writes in Psalm 139 (The Message Bible)

“I'm an open book to you;

even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.

You know when I leave and when I get back;

I'm never out of your sight.

You know everything I'm going to say

before I start the first sentence….

You know me inside and out.”

You see, the thing about God is that He knows everything about us. And He is not content to leave us lugging around baggage. He loves us too much for that.

One of the most amazing things about God is that nothing is ever wasted with Him. He will use all our experiences, all our desires and passions, all our talents and abilities, all our personality (with it’s quirks and uniqueness)….. and even all our pain, to grow and transform us into the person He created you and I to be.



So this year is about me unpacking my baggage and replacing it with my New Clothes (identity in Christ), and then helping others do the same, so that they can help others do the same.....

Why am I so weird?

Words I hate (in context):



au jus......As in, dip your roast beef sandwich in this au jus.

pit.........As in, arm pit.



Words I can't say correctly....or at least very fast:



abominable........"a bomb in a bull"

nuclear......."new clear"

aluminum......."a loon na mum"

specific......"spu sif ic"





Yes....I did grajeweighted college!

True Friendship

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." 1 John 3:16



What would happen if all Christians truly lived this verse out each day? Imagine....

My Nose

I hate my allergies. If you see me today, my red shirt matches my nose. It wasn't planned. Here is a poem by Dorothy Aldis. I swear, this little poem is my life:



It doesn't breathe;

It doesn't smell;

It doesn't feel

So very well.



I am discouraged

With my nose;

The only thing it

Does is blows.



Otherwise in my life.....

I see Emily this weekend on her turf. Yippeee!



OU is going to beat Texas. (AGAIN)



My Alex is sportin' his fall fashions. Nice.



I heard from TWO UofA friends today. Fun.



Jade is the baby. : P



Tygre, I still won't make out with you!!!!



George Bush and John Kerry are related, but George Bush should still be President.



I love my roomies.



I need comments please! (Emily fixed them so anyone can post)



God is good. We're in negotiations about Him healing my nose.



BYE!

The Question of the Stranger

Of all that was done in the past,

you eat the fruit either rotten or ripe.

And the Church must be forever building,

and always decaying and always being restored.

For where there is no Temple there shall be no homes,

though you have shelters and institutions.



What life have you if you have not life together?

There is no life that is not in community.

And no community not lived in praise of God.



But now you live dispersed on ribbon roads,

And no one knows or cares who is his neighbor

Unless his neighbor makes too much disturbance,

But dash to and fro in motor cars,

Familiar with the roads and settled nowhere.



And the wind shall say, "Here were decent godless people;

Their only monument the asphalt road

And a thousand lost golf balls."



When the Stranger says,

What is the meaning of this city?

Do you huddle together because you love each other?

What will you answer? --



'We all dwell together to make money from each other'?

or 'This is a community'?



And the stranger will depart and return to the desert.



O My soul, be prepared for the coming of the Stranger,

Be prepared for him who knows how to ask questions.



from The Rock by T.S. Eliot

Laura and George

Today I watched Headliners and Legends: Laura Bush. Here are some cool facts I learned:

• Laura and George lived very close to each other twice and never met.
• The second time they lived in the same apartment complex just across from one another.
• They met via a BLIND date. The friends that set them up hope Laura's quietness would settle down a wild George W.
• They only "dated" for 3 months before marrying.
• The day after Laura's 31st bithday was their wedding day.
• She became a republican by marriage.

Some lessons I learned: it's a small world and maybe blind dates aren't so bad. ; )

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near."

Today I'm feeling thankful for my friends. Our MT did a thing for a couple of weeks called "secret saints" (basically, you have a person you secretly encourage). We usually do it around Valentine's Day, but Kels thought we could all use some encouragement now.



Okay, half the fun is trying to figure out who has you. But, I guessed who had me after one day. (It was David, and he borrowed my car one day to go to Hobby Lobby. The next day there was a framed verse on my desk. Hmmmm...anyway, he did a super, wonderful, great job. Thanks! *wink* and a *smile*)



We officially "revealed" ourselves this past Wednesday. I found out that for a week David been sending e-mails that went into my junk mail folder. If you're not in my contacts, you go into the junk folder. I glace through them for "real" messages and delete the rest. (Okay, if you saw "Cupid's Competition" as the "from" and the title of the e-mail was "This is just the beginning" wouldn't you delete it?)



Anyway....I deleted all this encouragement without knowing it! David was so sad I didn't get them because he put a lot of thought and effort into making me know I was loved and appreciated. It made me wonder how many times a day God means to encourage us and we just count it as junk. Has someone showed you an act of kindness, smiled or waved hello, called you, e-mailed you, brought you a gift, make time for you, laughed or cried with you....all those are from GOD! He is using all of us to speak directly to the needs of others. How sad he must be when he finds we've not received them. So you don't miss it, here is some encouragement from God for you today.



(David has been resending me the lost encouragement e-mails. I wanted to share today's with you. It encouraged me. ) Here is what he sent:



Paul said in his letter to the Philippian church, "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near."



This verse offers so much encouragement. Why should we rejoice? Even when my roommates are stuck up brats? Even when the people around me demand for more of me when I feel I am running on empty? Is it possible to rejoice when I am sick, or when I have chores to do, or when I am stuck in Norman traffic on Lindsey Street? Does Paul really mean always rejoice? Well sure, why not. After all, what is Paul's reason for his continual rejoicing in the Lord? The simple fact that God is near. He goes through those traffic jams, broken hearts, down-and-out days; when the world seems to be ignoring our needs, God reminds us that He is always faithful and He is always near. I think that is something to feel encouraged about, don't you?



I was encouraged. Not only by this Word from God (via David), but I was greatly thankful for friends like Him who care about me. I am surrounded by friends. But it doesn't stop there. God is near. Wow. The Host of the Heavens is here with me and with you!



Thanks. I love you all. And as Strap would say... "Never surrender!"

Question: Do blondes have more fun?

Answer...Yes, and according to one particular Middle East country, "Not only (do) blondes have more fun, but they (are) worth more too! About four camels."

Profound Musings

Welcome to me! I have been meaning to do this for a while, and so here it goes! I have always struggled with journaling because I thought you had to have some deep thought. I can be good with e-mail, so I am hoping the thought of someone on the other side of this reading it will help me actually keep up with it. I'll be trying to make it fun to read, interesting, and funny. Thanks for coming!