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Monday, August 4, 2008

I feel like an Armadillo

Armadillos are diggers. Lately, I have been digging into my heart and not too fond of what I am finding. Mostly I am finding how little I trust God when my circumstances are bleak.

Armadillos have poor vision but are not blind. Thankfully, I am not blind, but at times it seems like I am. I can't always see what God is doing with my life, and I let it discourage me. This goes with number one--lack of trust/faith when I can't "see."

Armadillos have a hard "armor" shell for protection but the underside of the animal is never armored, and is simply covered with soft skin. I think this is the main way I feel like an armadillo lately. I have wanted to roll myself up in a ball of armor to protect myself from any more disappointment and hurt. Opening up and showing that "soft side" is scary for me. I feel like people are tired of hearing about the sadness I feel so much of the time. So I keep it to myself. Being around people and being "normal" is not something I am doing very well right now.

So, yeah. There are more similarities but I think I've stretched the analogy as far as I should. I figure I can be honest here. If you want to read it, you will. If you don't, you won't.

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